Here at Nacho Mom, we are each others greatest resource. We all have unique situations, but navigating the tricky journey through stepmotherhood is made much easier when you have others to relate to. But instead of limiting the conversation to stepmoms exclusively, why not hear from other members of the family too? Everyone contributes to the dynamics of the household so it is not only useful, but imperative to hear from everyone, especially the stepkids.
So for the first time ever, I have a wonderful guest with me here at Nacho Mom headquarters (a.k.a. my house). Cate Imperio is a fellow step -CHILD and we had the chance to discuss the biggest challenges we face as stepchildren (remember, I am a stepmom AND stepchild).
We found that we both have felt emotionally stuck in between our biological mom and our stepmom. If you are blessed to get along with your husband's ex-wife then go you! However, many are not in that situation and have to deal with an ex-wife that has nothing nice to say about you. Cate and I both agree that not only do children sense this tension, but it causes great distress. Unfortunately, the bio mom's actions and words are out of your control, but as the bigger person, please hold your tongue and kill her with kindess instead. I know it can be extremely hard and push your self-control to the limits, but I'm telling you, it is in the best interest of the kids. You are hearing it from the horse's mouth.
Additionally, in these modern times when so many families are unique and non-traditional, it is so important to create open lines of communication with your stepchildren. Don't assume that they totally understand everyone's role or how everyone is supposed to act or feel within the family structure. Because the truth is, it is confusing! Even if they do not seem receptive to candid conversations with you, remind them that you are here to talk anytime they want and answer any questions they might have. Over time, they will warm up and like with any relationship, communication is key! So keep at it stepmammas!