The question of what step kids should call their stepmom is a tough one. Some kids, especially young ones, feel so comfortable with their stepmom that calling her mom or mommy feels only natural. I think if my step kids called me mom I would be so flattered and my heart would be warmed. However, when I take the time to this about this rationally, I realize that such a title would be inappropriate on many levels. One, I think it is insanely disrespectful to the biological mom. Having a biological daughter myself, I would absolutely die if I found out she was calling someone besides me mom. Call me crazy but I truly believe that the title of mom is reserved for the bio mom, even if she is a pyscho bitch.
Some will argue that the child WANTS to call you mom or that the bio mom is so out of the picture that the child/children don’t really have a “mom”. Is it ok then you ask? I still think it is confusing for everyone and undermines the title. I feel like I am being uptight about this but for some reason calling stepmom “mom” does not sit well with me under any circumstances. And I have two step kids that live with me full time and I could not be more of a mom to them!
I called my stepmom by her first name and it was weirdly formal and impersonal. Therefore, I encourage the alternative: come up with a nickname! Explain to your step kids how your relationship is special and you deserve a fun, special name. Let your kids get creative. Make it funny! My step kids have about ten nicknames for me and it is so endearing. Going from Jen to Jengles, Glenny, Glendale, Jenebert etctera, has definitely made us feel closer. A nickname is a perfect in-between of mom and your actual name that everyone else uses. It’s like having a cute inside joke with your step kids. It will keep everyone happy and besides, no matter what they call you, know that you and your step kids are family and no title or lack thereof can change that.