Before I met my husband, I strictly dated guys my age. It just worked out like that. So you can imagine that when I met and fell in love with my husband who is 24 years older than me, it was a big pill for me to swallow. Even he was uncomfortable with this huge age spread! So back when we were deciding to get married, we discussed this issue in great detail, weighing the pros and cons. Luckily, we are very happy years later so I guess our reasoning was correct! In this video, we share our thoughts about why it is ok for such a big age gap to exist between you and your significant oother.
I guess Robert looks young for his age and I look, what shall I say? Mature? Or i guess I just act extra mature because nobody ever comments that we seem mismatched as far as age. Regardless, one of our top worries about getting together was that we probably would never reach milestones like a 50th wedding anniversary because that would make Robert about a million years old. However, we rationalized that we would rather have 20-25 great years together than nothing! 20 good years together, even if it isn't 50, still counts for something.
Additionally, I battled with the fact that my older husband has already experienced so many things without me. When we met, he had already been through experiences like buying a house, starting a career, and even having kids! Although there are definitely merits to "growing together" with your significant other and undergoing all of these major life changes together, there could also be downfalls to that. I feel like during your 20's and 30's there is so much change that there is opportunity to grow apart instead of together. Of course every relationship is unique but I felt that by being older, my husband was already settled which lent itself to more stability within the relationship.
I remember being so annoying and asking anyone who would listen what I should do about this man I loved that was way older. Finally, someone aid to me, stop listing the pros and cons and "what ifs" scenarios. You never know what can happen tomorrow so you have to live in the here and now. That really resonated with me. Yes, you have to make big decisions with thought and care but you have to life for the moment. I think this mindset applies to everything but especially to matters of the heart. The one is the one. If you are in love, you are in love. Age really is just a number.